Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
