we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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