I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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