Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
