i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize