it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
