okay pat passed out under dana's car
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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