she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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