i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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