Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
