Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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