i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
