Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
