New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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