I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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