By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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