He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this beer tastes like vomit already
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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