Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize