i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize