theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
