happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize