There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize