If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
