There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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