i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
