The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
