I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
