you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
