I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
