Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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