hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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