Four minutes until I can fart!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
