Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
