i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
