erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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