I must be too annoying 4 u.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
