no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
