I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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