I wish my penis had an off switch
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
