whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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