our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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