Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
