so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize