well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
