you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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