Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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