I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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