The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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