oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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