Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
