she told me i tasted like america
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
