dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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