no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
