My friends, they love my intelligence
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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