He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
