Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize