I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
