THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
