I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
