after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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