I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize