dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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