at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
